I cannot begin to describe how difficult it begins to get once you start the process of recovery. Some days is not hard and others you feel so down, you don't want to keep going, even though you know you need it. I've been good-ish a few days and some others I feel like I've relapsed, but not completely. just to explain this a little better, I'm been eating a lot better, but there are some nights were I feeling the lack of control and I need to eat something else. Sometimes I can fight it and sometimes I kind of cave in, but there is something that comes into my mind, and I realize I need to stop the bad thoughts and the anxiety, or at least keep it at bay.
I think probably most of us talk ourselves down, we are our biggest and worst critic, and that I've found is one of the biggest realizations I've made about myself. I've always felt okay with myself, I'm not saying that I have a huge self-esteem but I also don't lack it. I'm proud of myself in my professional make up artistry life, but not in other areas, I sometimes feel confident of the way I look and sometimes I feel like crap. Then and there is where we have to change our thinking, become positive about ourselves, about what's going on around us, our love life or lack there of, our choices, etc. Is all about making a negative thought become a positive one, the hardest thing to do is identify them, want to know why? Because we do it so often in our mind, that we don't notice them, that is why is the hardest thing.
Now, when it comes to changing something negative to positive is all about perception, the way we see things. Sometimes when I get conscious about what I'm thinking I start telling myself the things I love about myself, the things I'm proud off, so that I can feel better about myself and stop feeling like the victim.
Staying positive is the only way through recovery, if you are in a similar journey like me, take it one day at a time, don't worry about what's going to happen in five minutes or what's going to happen tomorrow, worry about your happiness, about the MOMENT your living.