Wednesday, March 25, 2015

My Story, My Path: Understanding eating disorders, Changes and Recovery

It has been about a month now, since the first time I went on to get therapy for Binge eating, one of the few things I've noticed in some of the closest people around me, is the even though they understand the concept of eating disorder, they don't know what to do or how to help. Let me tell you, you'll need a LOT of help from other people like your family and closest friends to get through recovery.

Trying to understand why someone does something to themselves, is not easy especially when it comes to parents, but you need to talk it out with your family. Sometimes it might be hard, but it's not the end of the world and the faster they understand it and your feelings, its starts to get a little bit easier for the recovery part. When I told my closest friends about this, some of them were amazed, they couldn't believe it, and then some of them just didn't know how to react.
It really depends on you if you want to tell your friends about it, but in my case, I love my friends and I know they will be there for me no matter what. After telling them, I asked some of them (like my bffs and the ones I spend more time with) that I need them to help me out. In my case I tend not to sleep much, and the binging starts at night, everyone in my family falls asleep earlier than me, so when I start to feel like I'm about to get out of control, or most of the times I already got out of control, I call them, to talk, basically trying to distract myself from it, sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't so I just get in the shower at 3 am... (btw I think water is my element it calms me down that's why I do it).

For those of you out there that want to understand or at least get a better picture, all eating disorders are the same, and most of them connect in some ways. By the same I mean this, all the feelings of lack of self-control, the dieting, the looking in the mirror and not feeling good, and many other stuff is the same in all of them, and sometimes they connect, someone can be binge eating and then they throw up, or they don't eat all day long and then binge eat, it's all connected and it's all under one roof.

I've always had anxiety, that is one of the biggest factors on my case. Since the day I started therapy I was already more positive about all the changes I could make, and how to make them, the thing I realized latter on, its easier said than done... who would've known right?
Part of therapy are some readings and exercises you need to make, I remember that one of them was making a list of the things that I'm afraid of, why I think I tend to binge eat, and then setting goals to change them.
That little paperwork has done it's number on me. I'm a research kind of girl, I like to know things, get more reviews about stuff, get different views on things, so the first thing I did was investigate about the disorder and things that can help with recovery. It's all a mental game, so I started to meditate, try to relax, at least twice a day for 10 minutes each. It's hard, I'm really hyper so just sitting down breathing without trying to move or think about something else, was hard, strange and sometimes I felt out of place, but I kept doing it, and I think I'm getting better at it.
Besides that the greatest thing I found was an app, it's called Rise Up Recovery it has pretty cool features and it's definitely the major reason I'm started to control myself a little bit better.

First of, It always has several positive phrases to get started. Positivity is a huge part of recovery.
Also the check In is where you put how you are felling and the "amount" your feeling it. 

In actions, it has if you've one anything like binge, expressed gratitude, purged and other stuff, you need to add drugs or medication you've done, and then it also has notes.



When it comes to the things you've been eating I believe this is the best app, you can indicate the time you are eating your meals, how you feel, if you ate with company, where you ate, what you ate, it also has notes and an option for when you skip a meal. Again it has the target behaviors, where you can honestly put what you have done before or after the meal.



Coping Skills are a few positive advises and exercises you can do to get better, which is actually pretty cool. Setting you can find the option of setting reminder, the times where you want to eat and it keeps you eating small portions, but all day long. I think this is one of the reasons why this app it's my favorite, it keeps me under control, as soon as a eat anything I write down, if i'm feeling anxious I put in there, and look for advise. I t all about wanting the change!



The time for a change starts with yourself, you decide if you want to keep on hurting yourself or not, I decided to change!

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