In the last few months a lot of things have happened in my life that have given such a huge weight on my shoulders, it hasn't been easy and it has destroyed me, little by little. We are getting personal here, I'm telling a few of the things that I have being going through but remember there are still somethings that are too personal and involve a lot of other people that I'm not in the place to share.
I told you before, that I wanted to change the blog and make it more lifestyle. A few of the things that I've being going through are not easy but I want you guys to come with me through the process and inspire other girls and boys to help each other, to stop judging and to be a good person.
I don't know about you guys, but i'm not an angel. I have been bullied and I had bullied others as well, not good at all, but I want to change that, move on and Keep moving forward (my life motto), the simple reason for this, the recent diagnose of an eating disorder.
Getting into my Story:
Now let me explain a few things, I've always had Anxiety and no, it's not a way of getting attention, is not easy to control, but you kind of learn to live with it, or at least that was what I was thinking until recently. Also, I've always eaten when I get sad or when I'm nervous and that it one of the things that caused me to be oblivious to the fact that I was eating about everything, honestly it didn't matter if I was happy or sad, every single emotion I feel or felt, for me is related with food. A lot of things started to catching up with me, and food was my way out, until I realized I needed help, I couldn't control myself, sometimes I felt lost (Honestly I still do) and the lack of will is sometimes to much to handle.
The Diagnose:
If you haven't notice already, the Eating disorder is Binge-Eating. I asked my family for help and let me tell realizing and asking for help is not easy, when you think about it is admitting that you are weak in some way, that there is something in you that is wrong, is no fun. But you'll soon realize you are not alone, which is very important. After I started treatment with a psychologist, I realized that is not a weakness, is just a stone in the road I'm walking, trying to stay positive is the BIGGEST goal I have. I have to set a reminder for myself that I need to be positive, to control myself, to let go of things. I'm one of those that keeps everything on the inside until one day I just burst.
Inspire Each Other:
B.E.D is like any other eating disorder, you've got the same feelings, feel the same awkwardness with your body, fell conscious all the time of it, you lack control, I'm still in the process of recovery and hopefully I'll get there, I just want to say this to anyone that is out there, eating disorder or not, mental illness or not, YOU ARE NOT ALONE, I know is hard but ask for help, help others in order to also help yourself, don't judge because you don't know what path the others have been trough and it's not your place to do so.
BTW, My Story, My Path it's going to be the new weekly, series of blogs posted on Wednesdays, talking about B.E.D, Self esteem, Helping each other, and obviously my process through the eating disorder, I hope you enjoy!
If you have any questions don't forget to leave them in the comments below!
See you soon Loves,
Marya Zamora.
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